Mikki's Posts

So I have a place for devotions.  I decided on my desk.  It's a good place because it's not too comfortable so there's little chance I'd fall asleep.  I'm not giving up but picking the same time every day won't work for me. February has a few goals now. 1. When I rise and when I go to bed, I will be spending a concentrated 10 minutes in prayer.  If I go over, great.  But at least 10 mins. 2. I'm going to read Today in the Word, the Moody Bible Institute daily devotional.  I gave the hard copy I have for the month to my friend and she's going to read with me to keep us both accountable.  I'm going to text or email her every day my thoughts or reactions to the day's reading/devo. 3.  In this next month I will get my bible study homework done before the day I have study. Sunday for BSF, Tuesday for the women's study.  Yes BSF is a daily structure but there many weeks where I have days I slack. So that's it for now. Oh!  I'm g...

The "old" cliche (aren't all cliches old? who's heard a new cliche?) "You're as young as you feel"?  TOTALLY TRUE! As a adult, I must admit that I do not think I have every really acted my age unless I had to.  It is not that I am averse to responsibility or something.  Well I am on somethings, like not having sex before marriage, not buying a house while still single, or not running for public office.  (And who exactly would elect me?  I wouldn't want to be  over them...) I definitely think, right or wrong, that I grew up too fast.  I do not blame my parents but I think being from a divorced home attributed to it. But I am also a first born, a bit of a perfectionist, and as a kid I was nearly always "something-going-on-30". It's not my parent's fault I had an old soul.  Now that I'm older, I long for the innocence and carefree time I took for granted and think I often missed out on. Long intro I know but the point is this: I st...

"We are leaky vessels" -Pastor Steve, CCG What am I filling myself with?  It's a question I ask myself whenever I fall flat on my face after not trusting God in something. Having grown up in church and coming from two strongly devoted Christian families, there are areas of life where I would expect myself to have mastered. (If not mastered, at least more disciplined.) There have been times in my life where I have had consistent daily devotion time. Sat down, read my Bible, talked to God in-depth and sought His filling presence. These times have lasted days, weeks and even months at a time. I cannot recall whole years where I was committed. I have seen the difference in life, especially as an adult. I see the blessing, the joy and the strength I have when I allow God to fill me. To be honest, I don't know how serious I was about a day to day relationship with Christ when I was younger. I struggled with a lot of sin growing up and looking back, I'm surprise...

This is a great song by Betsy Walker that I have related to in the past....and I find myself there again. My capacity for goodness is great, as is my capacity for evil.  I need Jesus desperately.

Feeling like I am not living up to my full potential.  Like somehow I an letting people down.  Should I not be more cutting edge?  Should I not be more indispensable?  Should I not be more "important"? Part of the answers lie in the question of the lens I view myself through.  The world's? God's?  It makes a difference.  The world's eyes are easier but often more disappointing to gaze with.  God's view is harder to grasp but infinitely full of grace, love and worthiness. Where did all these expectations come from that I foist onto myself?  Where did I get the notion that I should be more than what am I and to be less than that is to be a failure? This is not where I thought I would be at this age.  But looking back I am not really sure where I thought I would be. Perhaps that's the problem. I have spent so much of life just living it.  I have had goals but I must admit I have not often reached them; at least not the goals that seem ...

she sat gazing at the frozen lake snow covered and flawless moonlight glistening everywhere like diamonds sparkling in a deep cavernous space thinking only of longing of loss of love as Monoceros rose across the sky

But I was right--so far, it has been a looong winter.  Sigh.  I've been crazy busy or crazy tired.  It's a vicious cycle.  I managed to stay current with my wed nite bible study.  We finished our fall study, a book called Becoming a Woman of Balance.  It was a fantastic study from the Women of Faith series.  I definitely grew and had many great discussions. But I totally got behind on BSF.  I missed a week because I volunteered in the kids' classes and then I missed a week for bad roads/weather.  Then we went on break for the holidays, so I haven't seen anyone from my group for a month! Thankfully I've got a great friend from last year who I get together with for dinner and such.  We really like sushi.  I'm thinking my next birthday should be at a sushi place.  Mmmm... Anyway, the long and the short of it is I haven't been very diligent about devotions or prayer or reading my Bible.  And that was not good.  I had ...