"We are leaky vessels" -Pastor Steve, CCG
What am I filling myself with? It's a question I ask myself whenever I fall flat on my face after not trusting God in something.
Having grown up in church and coming from two strongly devoted Christian families, there are areas of life where I would expect myself to have mastered. (If not mastered, at least more disciplined.) There have been times in my life where I have had consistent daily devotion time. Sat down, read my Bible, talked to God in-depth and sought His filling presence. These times have lasted days, weeks and even months at a time.
I cannot recall whole years where I was committed. I have seen the difference in life, especially as an adult. I see the blessing, the joy and the strength I have when I allow God to fill me. To be honest, I don't know how serious I was about a day to day relationship with Christ when I was younger. I struggled with a lot of sin growing up and looking back, I'm surprised I survived to adulthood. I loved Jesus but my flesh won battle after battle as a teen. I didn't trust God and I filled myself with the world.
I've read recently about teens walking away from the church after they graduate high school. (It was in the NYTimes and I love having that newspaper app on my phone.) I can relate to the kids drifting away from church because I did. And that was a decade ago. (Oh my word, can I really say that? I'm getting old!) Granted there were a number of factors leading to me walking away from God for nearly four years of my life but still...
The point is I still am not doing my devotions on a consistent basis. Blogging did not help like I thought it would. (I don't have internet at home now so that makes blogging a little more challenging.) Different books have not helped. Accountability partners have not helped; as much as I love them, they are only people and people left you down. Turns out there is no magic switch to becoming disciplined. There is, however, this notion of perseverance.
So here's what I'm going to do this week.
1) Pick a spot in my apartment where I can do devotions. I'm thinking the desk in the living room or the corner in my bedroom by the window. I like the idea of setting up a little chair and stand in the bedroom because then I won't have the temptation to have the TV on. I've got an extra fold out chair and I can set up a little TV stand tray to hold my Bible and books and journal for now.
2) I'm going to pick a time. Not sure how that's going to work out. My best is in the afternoon or evening. On days I work obviously I'll have to do it later in the evening. But I also have evening engagements so I need to go around that. And I don't want to stay up too late if I work the next day. BUT I will find a time or maybe times, depending on the day of the week.
3) I will not give up. I want a deeper, closer relationship to God and He will satisfy that desire when I do my part. Like any relationship, I have to put effort into it to make it work.
And God is so worth the time. He is what I need and what I want to desire more than anything. Jesus is what I want to be filled with to overflowing. I'll end with a quote from Pastor Steve in this morning's service:
What am I filling myself with? It's a question I ask myself whenever I fall flat on my face after not trusting God in something.
Having grown up in church and coming from two strongly devoted Christian families, there are areas of life where I would expect myself to have mastered. (If not mastered, at least more disciplined.) There have been times in my life where I have had consistent daily devotion time. Sat down, read my Bible, talked to God in-depth and sought His filling presence. These times have lasted days, weeks and even months at a time.
I cannot recall whole years where I was committed. I have seen the difference in life, especially as an adult. I see the blessing, the joy and the strength I have when I allow God to fill me. To be honest, I don't know how serious I was about a day to day relationship with Christ when I was younger. I struggled with a lot of sin growing up and looking back, I'm surprised I survived to adulthood. I loved Jesus but my flesh won battle after battle as a teen. I didn't trust God and I filled myself with the world.
I've read recently about teens walking away from the church after they graduate high school. (It was in the NYTimes and I love having that newspaper app on my phone.) I can relate to the kids drifting away from church because I did. And that was a decade ago. (Oh my word, can I really say that? I'm getting old!) Granted there were a number of factors leading to me walking away from God for nearly four years of my life but still...
The point is I still am not doing my devotions on a consistent basis. Blogging did not help like I thought it would. (I don't have internet at home now so that makes blogging a little more challenging.) Different books have not helped. Accountability partners have not helped; as much as I love them, they are only people and people left you down. Turns out there is no magic switch to becoming disciplined. There is, however, this notion of perseverance.
So here's what I'm going to do this week.
1) Pick a spot in my apartment where I can do devotions. I'm thinking the desk in the living room or the corner in my bedroom by the window. I like the idea of setting up a little chair and stand in the bedroom because then I won't have the temptation to have the TV on. I've got an extra fold out chair and I can set up a little TV stand tray to hold my Bible and books and journal for now.
2) I'm going to pick a time. Not sure how that's going to work out. My best is in the afternoon or evening. On days I work obviously I'll have to do it later in the evening. But I also have evening engagements so I need to go around that. And I don't want to stay up too late if I work the next day. BUT I will find a time or maybe times, depending on the day of the week.
3) I will not give up. I want a deeper, closer relationship to God and He will satisfy that desire when I do my part. Like any relationship, I have to put effort into it to make it work.
And God is so worth the time. He is what I need and what I want to desire more than anything. Jesus is what I want to be filled with to overflowing. I'll end with a quote from Pastor Steve in this morning's service:
Rejoicing is a way of praising God until the heart is sweetened and rested and until it relaxes its grip on anything else it thinks it needs."Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 (NIV)
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