I ran again after my friend's death.
I somehow finished the last couple months of my senior year at Luther. I walked thru the ceremony, though it would take me another year to get the diploma (two more electives and a senior paper to finish). I remember laughing and smiling with family and friends. I had fun. I had bad days. I cried over her.
I knew one thing above everything else in my life at that moment. One truth that I couldn't avoid: I had to get out.
I felt like the walls were crashing in on me. The thought of staying in IA anywhere was unacceptable. I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to stay at Luther. I still had some school to finish up but where?
I asked my dad and step-mom if I could stay with them and finish my schooling. I had no idea what I was getting into. I just wanted away from Iowa and all the pain it was causing me. As if it was the state that was the root of my grief. I think I'd tried to talk to God but I felt so ashamed and guilty for all my disobedience and sin. I couldn't get past me. What I didn't know then was how much God would use my time in KY for His glory.
And of course, in between graduating from Luther and moving in with my dad and step-mom there was 9/11. I watched the second plane crash into the the second tower. It was unreal and surreal at the same time. That shook me to the core towards God. I totally starting praying for the people in the towers, the emergency workers and everyone else. I was seriously angry at the people responsible. When something awful happens people want comfort. We want to know there's a bigger picture and that someone is in control. I still didn't trust God for me but I somehow trusted Him for all these other people in the country and world that were hurting. Somehow I was special, like I was unforgivable.
Jumping to Kentucky...
Rule One of living with my dad and step-mom: I would be in church on Sundays. And since I liked singing and my dad was in the choir, he gently but firmly pushed me into joining him.
(There weren't really a lot of rules other than that. Dad and Anita didn't make me get a job. As long as I was actively working through my college correspondence courses and my senior paper they would provide what I needed in terms of food, shelter, basic clothing.)
It didn't happen overnight but my heart started turning back towards God on a personal level. There were a number of godly, mature Christians to help show me God's love and the power of His mercy & grace.
I can't pinpoint the date that I started trusting Jesus again, but it was sometime that fall of 2001. I had gotten involved with a Bible Study down on Asbury's campus that was being led by Steve Elliot for a few months. My parents hosted a young adult Bible study in their home and since I lived there it was easy to go. I was enjoying choir and made lots of friends. I tried to go to the college sunday school class sometimes. My dad was on staff at the time, so I got to know the rest of the staff at the church.
Somehow, I volunteered to help with the children's Christmas program. I'm pretty sure it was my Dad's suggestion. I wasn't sure but I went ahead. Truth be told? I ended up loving the kids and really looking forward to practices. I even got involved in the kid's programs on Sunday mornings. I'd be in skits, do puppets, help out with the craft area, give the kids snacks, wherever help was needed. Teaching the kids about Jesus really helped me to relearn who He is.
That last "school year" passed quickly in many respects. I got my correspondence classes done and transferred from the University of Iowa to Luther. I spent many hours at the UK library and in front of a computer putting my senior paper to bed. Then, lo and behold, Luther sent my diploma. I walked with my friends in May 2001 but in reality I graduated 2002. (I claim both dates and get class letters from both years.)
So now it was time to job hunt.
TO BE CONTINUED...
I somehow finished the last couple months of my senior year at Luther. I walked thru the ceremony, though it would take me another year to get the diploma (two more electives and a senior paper to finish). I remember laughing and smiling with family and friends. I had fun. I had bad days. I cried over her.
I knew one thing above everything else in my life at that moment. One truth that I couldn't avoid: I had to get out.
I felt like the walls were crashing in on me. The thought of staying in IA anywhere was unacceptable. I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to stay at Luther. I still had some school to finish up but where?
I asked my dad and step-mom if I could stay with them and finish my schooling. I had no idea what I was getting into. I just wanted away from Iowa and all the pain it was causing me. As if it was the state that was the root of my grief. I think I'd tried to talk to God but I felt so ashamed and guilty for all my disobedience and sin. I couldn't get past me. What I didn't know then was how much God would use my time in KY for His glory.
And of course, in between graduating from Luther and moving in with my dad and step-mom there was 9/11. I watched the second plane crash into the the second tower. It was unreal and surreal at the same time. That shook me to the core towards God. I totally starting praying for the people in the towers, the emergency workers and everyone else. I was seriously angry at the people responsible. When something awful happens people want comfort. We want to know there's a bigger picture and that someone is in control. I still didn't trust God for me but I somehow trusted Him for all these other people in the country and world that were hurting. Somehow I was special, like I was unforgivable.
Jumping to Kentucky...
Rule One of living with my dad and step-mom: I would be in church on Sundays. And since I liked singing and my dad was in the choir, he gently but firmly pushed me into joining him.
(There weren't really a lot of rules other than that. Dad and Anita didn't make me get a job. As long as I was actively working through my college correspondence courses and my senior paper they would provide what I needed in terms of food, shelter, basic clothing.)
It didn't happen overnight but my heart started turning back towards God on a personal level. There were a number of godly, mature Christians to help show me God's love and the power of His mercy & grace.
I can't pinpoint the date that I started trusting Jesus again, but it was sometime that fall of 2001. I had gotten involved with a Bible Study down on Asbury's campus that was being led by Steve Elliot for a few months. My parents hosted a young adult Bible study in their home and since I lived there it was easy to go. I was enjoying choir and made lots of friends. I tried to go to the college sunday school class sometimes. My dad was on staff at the time, so I got to know the rest of the staff at the church.
Somehow, I volunteered to help with the children's Christmas program. I'm pretty sure it was my Dad's suggestion. I wasn't sure but I went ahead. Truth be told? I ended up loving the kids and really looking forward to practices. I even got involved in the kid's programs on Sunday mornings. I'd be in skits, do puppets, help out with the craft area, give the kids snacks, wherever help was needed. Teaching the kids about Jesus really helped me to relearn who He is.
That last "school year" passed quickly in many respects. I got my correspondence classes done and transferred from the University of Iowa to Luther. I spent many hours at the UK library and in front of a computer putting my senior paper to bed. Then, lo and behold, Luther sent my diploma. I walked with my friends in May 2001 but in reality I graduated 2002. (I claim both dates and get class letters from both years.)
So now it was time to job hunt.
TO BE CONTINUED...
That was such a hard time for all of us....Jon had left for Boot Camp and was still there on 9/11. You had your surgery and I remember taking care of you, and being concerned because I knew you were hurting, and not just physically. I missed you so much when you left, but knew you were better off at your dad's than up at Luther. However, it was very hard to feel like both kids were leaving the nest in the same year. You've come a long way since then!
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